Beyond Spellcheck: Six Errors that Kill Your Story

shutterstock_175793318Bonnie Hearn Hill and Christopher Allan Poe, authors of Digital Ink, are back to share some tough love for writers.

What are the pitfalls that can sink a story faster than you can say the word clichéd? How much detailed research should you include in your book? And what’s wrong with naming a character after yourself? Read on…

 

 

Beyond Spellcheck: Six Errors that Kill Your Story

By Bonnie Hearn Hill & Christopher Allan Poe, authors of DIGITAL INK

 

Editing your manuscript requires more than running your grammar-check software. Even if you are confident that you’ve caught every comma and rescued every misplaced modifier, you need to weed out the errors that harm your novel and make you sound like an amateur. These are not language problems. They are story problems. Here are six of the most common.

 

You’re the protagonist.

Your name is Robert Dennis Smith. You name your character Dennis Roberts. Your name is Joyce. You name your character JJ, and you have her driving that red Corvette you always wanted. If you have a child, so does JJ. If you have six children, so does she. You can’t expect to achieve honesty on the page when you’ve already trapped your story within the walls of your own life.

 

● “But that’s what really happened.”

This is closely related to naming the character after you. Instead, you’ve created an imaginary character and limited how she can respond to the conflicts in her environment. Janie, for example, gets it on with her best friend’s husband in the men’s room at the company Christmas party. That leaves Janie unsympathetic and not even empathetic. Hey, author. Why did your character do this with her best friend’s husband?

“Well,” the author says, “That’s what I did with my friend’s husband.”

You can’t rip events from your life and slam them on the page just because they happened. (And if you are doing this in real life, you might consider therapy, if only to save your writing.)

 

Researchitis

This dreaded disease inflicts authors with the compulsion to impart every smidgeon of useless information uncovered while researching their novels. You research how bees make honey. You’ve learned how to make a chocolate soufflé or become an expert pole dancer, and you want to share every detail. Don’t. Spewing every research fact on the page is actually just a way to prove how smart you are. Remember, this book is about your characters. Not you. Researchitis gives you a deadly slow pace, which gives your reader a reason to put the book down.

 

Fruitcake

Do you look forward to eating that fruitcake your Aunt Madge brings over every Christmas? Didn’t think so. Is your prose so sweet and rich and laden with greasy nuts that it sends readers into mental image overload? If you have large sections of exposition and descriptions without dialogue, you may be in fruitcake mode. Trash some of it and cut to the chase.

 

Word packages

Authors who rely on meaningless word packages in real life are seldom able to break free of them when they write fiction. Thus, they may end up with: “It was an upscale neighborhood with manicured lawns.” “She was an ebony-haired beauty.” How many times have you read such descriptions? Do they allow you to see or feel anything fresh?

Consider the following:

 “How are you, Antonia?”

“Fine, Vic. I’m fine. How was your weekend?”

“It was a lot of fun. I shot my mother-in-law and left her body on the stairs.”

“Cool, Vic. Talk to you soon. Take care.”

Antonia is not engaged in this conversation. She is speaking in word packages in order to avoid connecting with Vic or anyone else. She’s memorized the prompts, and she may be able to get through an entire day without ever noticing that Vic is burying family members in her backyard.

 

The Page-142 Syndrome

Yes, your pace is a little slow, but that’s only because you have a great deal to share about your protagonist. Thus, he not only circles the airport and thinks about his life in Chapter One. He then jumps in a rental car and drives to Ensenada, still thinking about his life. Hey, writer, where’s the dialogue?

“Just wait,” you say. “Once you get to page 142, the story really takes off.”

If it really takes off on page 142, start it there.

 

BONNIE HEARN HILL is the bestselling author of seven suspense novels, including IF IT BLEEDS, CUTLINE, OFF THE RECORD, INTERN, KILLER BODY, MISTRESS, and most recently LAST WORDS. She is also the author of GHOST ISLAND, haunting paranormal fiction for young adults. Follow her on twitter @bonniehearnhill, friend her on Facebook, or see more at www.bonniehhill.com.

CHRISTOPHER ALLAN POE is an author and touring musician based in Los Angeles. He writes paranormal fiction, with an emphasis on social issues involving women and children. A member of International Thriller Writers, he is the author of THE PORTAL and DARK SIGHT.

Together, they wrote the practical non-fiction book about great fiction writing, DIGITAL INK: Writing Killer Fiction in the E-book Age, which has even more indispensable advice. For more, please see http://www.digitalinkbooks.com.

5 Comments

  1. Merry Morris says:

    You know the drill!

  2. Had to laugh. Guilty as charged! But, hopefully, my evil mentor drilled them all out of me . . . 🙂

  3. John Brantingham says:

    Absolutely I’ve done these things. All of them. The worst is making characters who look and act suspiciously like me. That’s my current problem, but I know the fix. Write about someone else!

  4. Thanks Bonnie. Its good to refresh.